The Howard Government today announced the beginning of its ‘KnotChoices’ campaign, aimed at getting all Australians to wear a tie to work. Launching the television advertisements, Workplace Relations Minister Joe Hockey said “the Australian Bureau of Statistics’ latest data figures suggest people on average are earning, while wearing a tie, 96% more than people who don’t wear a tie”.

Asked whether this really meant that workers could double their wages if they hung a bit of cloth around their neck, Hockey boldly replied “I said on average”, thus firmly settling the matter. He did, however, point out that the when it comes to knots, the government will be promoting the windsor over the four-in-hand, since ABS data show that the former earn 9% more than the latter.

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4 Responses to KnotChoices

  1. Sacha says:

    How about the double windsor? And what about invented knots – where do they fit into knotchoices?

  2. jeb says:

    In Japan workers are being encouraged by the government to leave ties at home- No ties in summer allows airconditioning systems to be adjusted to a higher set point resulting in less energy use and lower greenhouse gas emissions. Are they earning less as result? Dont know, but companys are saving on their energy bills.

  3. derrida derider says:

    Kevin Rudd, of course, has immediately promised that ties will be incorporated into all enterprise bargians, and a $3B special education fund will be provided to teach kids how to tie them.

  4. EconoMan says:

    Touche, to Andrew and DD

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